the end to everything

sometimes, the only thing one can wish for, is the end…
the end of everything,
of names, places, to be and to have, to hear and to feel
the end of everything wrong in the first place
I just want to end everything
first of all myself
I don’t want anymore
it should end
at first
then think of something new all together
be it
a new house, a new name, a new face, a new body, a new world… a new different universe.



Damit die Menschen sich großartig fühlen können, brauchen Sie Menschen, die kleiner und wertloser sind als sie selbst, und dafür sorgen sie dann auch. Das macht die Welt großartig. Großartig in Boshaftigkeit, ganz genaus so. Großartig….

essential matter

Today it dawned on me (or better tonight, cause it is currently night): when Saint-Exupéry said
‘ the significant is invisible to the eye’, he did not have in mind the heart, the nearest thing to be, but the most far away, which you can only see through a telescope, if ever,
I guess.
Cause that is obviously very invisible to our eyes, the planet on which your friend/love/family (who ever belongs to that kind of family) resides.

It is far,far away, which is the most important, yet most essential matter…


I am worth nothing
alone every day
ugly in a way
people would pay me for leaving the room
their in
that’s why they refer to the moon
on which they want to send me
nothing makes sense in my life
I can’t drive
since I did not want to hive
in a car
that is how I feel
like nothing simply
thanks to jobcenter, school from then,
Amevida, old friends who are no friends anymore
but that is what it is
I am nothing to the world
I have zero sense of self esteem
and that is serious
not a joke.


Trump away
Macron more normal
Merkel away
Putin away
Erdogan doesn’t even exist to my knowledge
the Saudis less power
Kim – oh well, no words
and all the others: fuck off…
no, only joking, can’t even find your stupid names in my stupid head…
while England should have…
all in all have more power whatsoever ?

or whatever


fast written nonplusultra nonsense, while just angry angry angry angry about this whole fucking thrash of a planet (sorry planet, I was saying parasites… )

data-esk world

sometimes I know
that there is nowhere to run to
no escape whatsoever
since the world is everywhere so dangerous
and always the same chance
to die
nothing I can do
to eliminate my pain
or minimize it
zombies everywhere I look
vampires and werewolves
nothing I can do
to minimize my fear
and your greed
for data
see, how I know?
nothing can fool me really
but sometimes I don’t know.

#stand with Sophia

I just want to write this, because it has been the same with me when I was a child.

I hope that Sophia will recover one day from this horror.

It is sad to see that not much has changed in this world in all these years…

Please all help to change things like that, to stop bullying from ever happening. I just can’t believe that people believe their own lies, that they  can’t  differentiate between their own lies and the truth of others. In my case, these things followed me into my adulthood and are still present, with not getting jobs etc. due to these horrifying lies of those who bullied me.

#I stand with Sophia.