memories fuzzy blurring

when you think, your memories are simply yours
when you think, you are sure you are you
when you think, everything is as told
when you think all is alright and in place
when you believe everything they tell you
but then
you notice
all those memories are potentially false
all those later memories are made up memories
you recognize them on photos
thinking this is what you lived through
thinking all you lived through is true
seeing that nothing adds up
why did people not talking to you anymore
while you wanted to know them
why did people not take any notice of you
while you claimed they were somewhat known to you
this makes all no sense and in a sense it does

why does standing on a skateboard make you fearful
when you stood on wheels as a little girl
this does not make any sense
why should I not go on with the things I did before
also this makes no sense and yet it does

and why should people speak of things
that belong together
over the years
when there isn’t a connection
a mind can be such a fucked up thing
mine is for sure
especially when they speak of ghosts
while there is one
now I understand

this is the night of revealments
to myself
I hope.

maybe, since Corona, and before, they couldn’t give me the beta blocker I needed
to block my mind.
what a relieve this is…
so, welcome back memories of never seen events….

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This is a private blog, about my own feelings, thoughts and doubts, etc. No data will be used or shown without people's consent. (Actually, now data at all is shown.) Pictures are mine or from sites where photographers allowed to use the pictures or otherwise bought from stock agencies. If you have any questions, ask ahead.

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