… and my religion is…

Well, and this is what happens, when “someone” becomes your “religion”.

It is so overwhelming in the end.  I cried yesterday, because I found out so many things I had already seen and I did not know. In 2002, I began to write a story, well about “someone”, and I went on writing over the years and I thought it was total fiction, also about me, and about him an his passion (his religion I think because it can’t be anything else, or these people who were around him and me ), but I did not know then, that it was about “him”, or about a religion. You know. I wasn’t aware who and what that was I was writing about. It was just for fun… and because I wanted to be a writer.  Writing by seeing into the future which is not written by then is like, the feeling to an extend where nothing makes sense… but actually, I thought nothing of it, I thought everything was as normal, I blanked out completely on what was not so obvious.

Yesterday I read my story again after all these years (which I luckily did not throw away as I had planned) and many details are as far as I know true, and are  fitting in.      It was clairvoyance, what else?  And then it shook me and I had to cry.       It is not for anyone to read of course, it is not finished or  good or anything, but it shows the many things which happened and are happening in the last three, four years and ongoing I think, to me it is shocking but as well wonderful. It is like a bond which was invisible and unknown to me.

It is either telepathy or something else, which I don’t know yet…. and it makes me wonder, nobody can say, that clairvoyance doesn’t exist. Because it does.

He must have such a strong mind. To me, that is mind-blowing.




What I understand as dignity

Dignity is:


  • when you leave me the way I am
  • when you leave me be
  • when you stop hurting me
  • when you stop telling me better
  • when you stop making war to me
  • when you stop inflicting me with your problems over the top
  • when you stop saying no to me
  • when you start accepting me
  • when we make love to each other
  • when we can let go of each other
  • when I can have something to eat
  • when I can have the same rights as you have
  • when you stop hurting my family only because I did not do as you told me
  • when you stop telling me what to do
  • when you stop making ads about things I will never need
  • when I am free
  • when I can see the blue sky
  • when I can breathe
  • when I can have company
  • when I can do what I prefer
  • when I can be the gender I want to be or need to be
  • when I won’t get hurt over who I am
  • when I accept others
  • when I can have a country without war
  • when something is in order, without a hole in it
  • when you want holes in something and are allowed to
  • when somebody wants to swim against the tide and is not hold back
  • when I get smiled at
  • when I am consoled by someone
  • when I am allowed to cry
  • when I am allowed to scream
  • when I am allowed to say otherwise
  • when I am allowed to think otherwise
  • when I am allowed to keep my thinking for myself
  • when I am not touched
  • when I ask for more touching
  • when I ask for company and nobody goes away
  • when I get attention
  • when I get the ears of someone important to a special subject
  • when I am listened to
  • when I get people to read my stuff
  • when I am ignored by people who hate me since I then have my freedom and peace
  • when I am allowed to go to church
  • when I don’t want to go to church and am allowed  to without getting hurt
  • when I don’t want to have a religion
  • when I need my religion to survive and nobody says something against it
  • when people accept each other.

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