instead unpoetic

I don’t know what you mean
with “you never loved me”
I don’t know what this song is about
in case it even is a song
I don’t understand

instead
the worst thing is, that life is a journey for which I am not prepared
and to what I am not invited

life is nothing without love
but that’s what it probably is
instead.

But why do I talk about love
while I am truly ugly
and nobody would ever look at me
I just wanted to mention this
while being ugly
and unpoetic.

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getting

If I could get it
if you talk in positive ways to me
or in negative ways
I could possibly understand
and write in positive
or best
I don’t know I simply don’t know

I hate my life

Well. To write this is unnecessary, and yet I do it. I hate my life, and everybody knows it. Does not know my life, really almost nobody knows me, although I met hundreds and thousands of people in my life, but nobody stayed in my life so far… They only know my life is unworthy. I am not worth much, and I don’t really am a person, that should be here in this era, this world or at all to be.
To write here does not really make sense, since you can see me, so what use is my writing? I just feel so lost, so lonely and so hopeless. But you know that already….
Everything is so dark.

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